3 Comments

  1. Sandi Johnson

    As an artist I sometimes have downtimes between spells of great activity in which I cannot find the paint. I see them as times I need to refuel. You have had a major focus, for a sustained time, that has been achieved. You need time to refuel. Perhaps God wants you to have a time or refueling AND looking inward and upward, a time of reflection and gathering, a time of no duties where you can draw close to Him so you will be fueled for the next big push.

  2. I really appreciate your sharing these thoughts and feelings, Dusty. I can definitely related to some of what you are saying. When we complete an important stage of life, it can feel like a death. Being a student for years and then graduating can be like that. When I started my discernment process for holy orders in the Episcopal Church several years ago I was nearly certain that seminary, ordination, and priesthood were in my future. Only part of that was true.

    When that discernment process ended up without the answer I wanted, and I retired from corporate life, I was mourning two important phases of my life and what I had come to believe was important or essential. It took a year for me to figure out that God was still calling me to meaningful ministry, just a different kind that I had not yet imagined.

    I think it might be in some small way analogous to what Moses is saying in Deuteronomy, especially in Chapter 30 to the Hebrew people as they approach the promised land. He (Moses) uses the word “today” over and over to emphasize to the people the urgency and reality that this new thing will be a daily struggle, choosing between life and death. They are about to reach the goal of their lifelong pursuit. And yet, God seems to suggest that the end is only their beginning.

    Based upon what you are saying, I think you might be in a similar place. Trust God. Love God. Give yourself space and room to be loved fully. There is nothing you can do that will make God love you any more than God does already. I will pray for you that you will be at peace and find greater comfort in this time of transition and uncertainty.

  3. Bonnie Hoffner

    Dear Cousin-you need to revel in your accomplishment and accept your own amazing journey you’ve completed! Self care is a necessity not a luxury! Make a pan of brownies, read a book, drink some tea and make a vision board. Spring is coming soon ~ there’s so much to anticipate and admire.

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